Every third married couple lives without sex: a psychologist explains how to rebuild intimacy
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Nearly one in three married couples is living without intimacy. According to data from the General Social Survey, 32.5% of married respondents reported having had no sex in the past year, while only 4.1% said they have sex more than three times a week.
Therapist Anna Eltonova notes that the frequency of intimacy naturally varies from couple to couple, averaging around once a week. Experts typically define a "sexless marriage" as a relationship in which intimate contact happens ten times a year or less.
There are many reasons intimacy fades — from the burden of family responsibilities to hormonal shifts. But according to Eltonova, the real culprit is often something simpler: the spark gradually disappearing from the relationship. The therapist suggests a few simple exercises that can help couples reawaken closeness.
How to rebuild emotional intimacy
If a relationship has accumulated tension or resentment, the first step is restoring the emotional connection. One helpful exercise: for a week, each day notice something about your partner or your relationship that you're grateful for, and say it out loud. It's also worth cutting back on conversations that revolve entirely around chores and problems. Consciously focusing on the positive aspects of a relationship helps rebuild closeness and opens the door for intimacy to return.
Eltonova says that stress and a gradual loss of connection are common culprits behind emotional distance. One solution is to deliberately set aside time for each other and put gadgets away — for instance, designating one phone-free, screen-free evening a week. Instead, spend that time doing something you both enjoy, or something that brought you joy early in the relationship. If it's hard to know where to start, the therapist suggests an "A-to-Z date night" — gradually working through shared activities in alphabetical order, from a gallery visit and bowling to a movie night or a couple's massage.
Flirting, new experiences and self-care
New experiences can refresh a relationship and reignite mutual attraction. Closely tied to this is flirting, which often fades quietly from long-term relationships. Even small gestures — holding hands, hugging, an unexpected kiss, a compliment — can bring the spark back.
Sometimes declining intimacy is rooted in age-related insecurity or dissatisfaction with one's own body. In such cases, it's worth working on self-esteem and psychological comfort. Regular physical activity, healthier habits, a wardrobe refresh, a visit to the hairdresser or a beautician — in short, taking care of yourself — can all help. When a person feels comfortable in their own body, it usually has a positive effect on the relationship as a whole, as well as on their willingness to be physically and emotionally closer to their partner.
Source: novinky.cz
